You know when you are enjoying a book so much that you just hate to see it end? I am feeling that way now. I have one chapter left in "Blue Like Jazz," but I don't want to read that chapter because I don't want the book to be over. It is pretty sad actually. I have had ample time to read it but I am purposely avoiding it. It is one of those books where when you have finished reading it, you feel like you have lost your best friend. I mean this book and I did spend 3 hours at Panera together yesterday over a few cups of coffee. If only I could move to Portland, Oregon, marry Donald Miller, and just listen to his humorous stories all day, every day. Now that would be the life. Sadly, it would never work out. He is way too old for me. I would love to sit down and pick his brain a bit though.

Lately I have very much enjoyed being by myself, which is a major change for me. I have gone from not wanting to even order my own food to sitting alone at Panera for hours on end reading and studying. But hey, who could pass up free coffee refills and bear claws? Panera is officially my new favorite place. I, for some crazy unknown reason, love being here and it's not only the bear claws, even though they are pretty wonderful. I enjoy watching the people who come in and listening to their conversations. You can learn a lot about people this way.

Donald Miller put a new spin on "love your neighbor as yourself" for me today. I have known for a while that I have self-esteem issues. It has always been hard for me to accept someone else's love. I am pretty sure that it is becasue I do not see myself worthy of their love. I have been working on this, working on realizing that God does love me very much. That I am worth something to him, so why would I not be worth something to others? But we have always been taught to love others as we love ourselves. You know, do unto them as we would have them do unto us. Simply, be nice to strangers and love everyone. Miller, pointed out though, that he would not dare treat others the way that he treated himself. He would not put his neighbor down the way that he put himself down. I like this somewhat backwards view of the golden rule. I think I have a much harder time being nice to myself than I do being nice those around me. I am still working on loving myself, becasue I believe that I can not truely love my neighbor until I can truely love myself. I am glad Donald Miller and I have this in common. I will add it to the list of reasons why I want to marry him..